So often we accomplish something that is out of our comfort zone and instead of acknowledging ourselves for it, we point out the negatives about how we could have done it better. Allot of this has to do with how we speak to ourselves on a regular basis – is it loving or loathing? And as we get older, al lot of us become even harder on ourselves. This is important to become aware of so that we can catch it and nip it in the bud before we become the “crotchety old people” that annoy us! We don’t have to be crotchety. Choosing to whine and complain and beat ourselves up is a choice we make every time we open our mouths. It not only affects you and your life but it affects everyone who comes in contact with you too. I love the quote “Your energy is contagious, is yours worth catching?”
I am writing about this today because I am at the end of a 2 year journey that I would have never imagined possible and as I sit here, I’m realizing that I’m doing just that…a little bit of loathing when I sure as hell deserve a boatload of LOVING instead.
In these two years I have uncovered fears and pain that I didn’t know existed. I have gone head to head with patterns of self-criticism, self-destruction, jealousy, body image obsession, relationship sabotage, judging others and myself, playing small, and so much more. In truth, 2 years ago, I was pretty unhappy even though I had an amazing husband, three incredible kids, loving and supportive parents and four unconditionally loving fur babies as well. I was at my all time low, I was feeling lost, confused and disconnected from the girl who used to love to laugh, play and act silly and I felt pretty hopeless. I was sure I was destined to be unhappy and I was blaming everyone else for my pain. The truth was, I was responsible but was totally unaware, too disconnected from myself to see it.
And today, 2 weeks from my graduation in getting my Masters Degree in Spiritual Psychology (with that I am now a Transformational Life Coach), I am in a place of peace, full of love and acceptance of others and myself. And as I finish up this month, my old self would see me now as still not enough, not perfect enough, picking at myself for the fact that I am not a detail person, wishing I could be something that I am not. But this woman who sits here today sees these differences as my greatest assets, a complete reframe of the past disappointments and reasons for self-loathing. My old self is frustrated because I am writing a book that is not yet complete through ITS’ constant transformation during MY transformation. But, my new version of me, my “true self”, is proud and excited of the opportunity she has to help others who are on my same journey. The book is about getting connected to your true self, connecting to your purpose, keeping commitments to yourself, changing the way you speak to and treat yourself and a whole lot more. As I said, it is not complete and there is more to this co-creation process I am in with God but I am resting and allowing this to be exactly where I am supposed to be, waiting for His guidance and accepting and loving myself along the way. I’m super Frickin’ proud of myself and I want to encourage any of you reading this who are living in a place of overwhelm and despair, not to give up on yourself and to remember to discover and explore your talents and interests…that’s where the fun is for sure! And remember, that no matter what, the most important thing I have learned is that you can’t do this life alone and you were not intended to. Letting go, surrendering and trusting God (or a higher power, universal energy or whatever you want to call it) and the plan He has for you is key to getting to this space.
I am here to encourage you and inspire you out of the LOATHING and into LOVING yourself for the amazing gift you are to this planet!